Boundary Development

“No” is a complete sentence.

Period. There’s no need to follow it up with a comma or a semi-colon.

You know who has this sentence down pat? Toddlers!

Why can’t we say “no”?

But for some of us, we find it difficult to say “no.” We are worried that others will think that we are unkind or inflexible. We are more concerned about someone else’s reaction; that makes us tend to neglect our own emotions.

Or is your first response “no”?

Or maybe your problem is that you are very much like the toddler and have no trouble saying “no.” The issue with that is you have created a wall that makes it difficult to fully let people in.

Boundary development.

Your life experiences help to shape your boundary patterns. Together we will identify ‘when’ and ‘how’ these patterns were created.

One of the first steps in developing healthy boundaries is self-awareness–just being honest with yourself.

Many people are unaware of what their boundaries are until they are crossed. A few signs to know when your invisible boundary line has been stepped on:

• You feel resentment or anger
• You do something out of fear or compulsion
• You get upset or offended

Once you become aware of these internal feelings and recognize when and where they happen, you then move to understanding the root cause of why you do what you do. Is there a contradiction between your values and your boundaries? And if so, why?

Unclear and rigid boundaries can leave you exhausted and lacking true intimacy. You either are working too hard to keep others out, or not working hard enough to keep the good in.

Now that you have clarity of what kind of boundaries you have and why you have them, you are better equipped to implement healthier ones, so you can finally effectively communicate your needs and wants.

Let’s work on developing and maintaining healthy boundaries.

Let’s help you to learn where to draw the line to owning your stuff and letting others have theirs.

Give yourself permission.

Let’s start today!